Several communications found their way to me in the past couple of days, all centering in some way around transformative cycles or 'difficult' experiences, the 'value' of suffering and sacrifice, and 'getting over it' or 'breaking through' it. It occurred to me, in typical writer's fashion, that a theme was knitting itself together here!
Almost everyone I know or hear from, in my inner circles and the broader circle of readers and Ivy Sea Online visitors, has gone through some sort of transformative life cycle or series of challenges in these past few years, including me. While the individual journey details may differ, the higher-level experiences of transformation and challenge are similar.
So when I received an email newsletter from a colleague in this morning's mail, and saw the feature article on the 'value of sacrifice', it definitely caught my attention.
Just last night I was reading about our cultural mythos that centers around the merits and 'value' of suffering and sacrifice -- the 'no pain, no gain' philosophy that seems to permeate Western Culture. The book that I'm reading, Not In His Image, by John Lamb Lash, was emphasizing the links between this 'suffering and pain are holy' philosophy and the resulting dissociation from body, compassion, joy, and sensuousness, and the potential for (and often very real manifestation of) cruelty and violence such dissociation breeds. Whether we like to look at and admit it or not, there is an enormous amount of evidence of this, and a historical case that can be made.
In reading the newsletter article glorifying the 'no pain, no gain', value-in-suffering-and-sacrifice feature article, the two came together for me, right along with my own experience on this side of a transformative cycle and the many stories I've been entrusted with about others' journeys.
Glorifying pain and suffering, in and of themselves, does breed harshness, cruelty and violence. It allows us to too easily cast aside 'the better angels of our nature', as well as our own deep soul urges towards compassion, kindness, generosity, creativity, love, and heart-guided (versus intellect-guided) fierceness. And it allows us to too easily 'look the other way' when gross injustice is done to, and greed wreaks havoc on, people, animals, Nature, and spirit.
This is a sensitive argument to make, because all of our lives include things beyond our control, some of which can turn our lives and all that we believed upside down and inside out. We do suffer, and we do feel pain, and many of us do sacrifice our own pleasure or needs or dreams for 'good' as well as 'bad' causes. Some important goals, visions or missions do require us to set aside lesser priorities, though we often set aside greater priorities for lesser goals as well. Wisdom can come out of such suffering, and often does.
But the question remains regarding our cultural glorification of suffering and suffering-laden sacrifice -- do we, by glorifying suffering and sacrifice in an unquestioning, knee-jerk 'programmed' way, actually create and perpetuate and, in some cases inflict, unnecessary and thus 'unholy' suffering on ourselves, others, Nature, and other life forms?
As with many things, it's not a clear-cut, either/or issue, though we too often have defaulted to an 'either/or', with 'suffering' being righteous, holy, and thus in some masochistic way, 'virtuous'.
We as a group -- humanity -- find ourselves in a time of great change that has been forecast in the wisdom of many ancient cultures, as well as in the heavens themselves. We find ourselves with the great opportunity to look beyond these old and outdated viewpoints around which our actions have streamed forth, and, in questioning them, choose more mindfully ways of being and doing that are heartful and uplifting of life-affirming 'virtues' and ripple-effects. We can make a 'break through' rather than 'getting over it', which too often means 'sucking it up' and repressing heartfulness.
There is no merit or 'virtue' in suffering, in and of itself. So while we may draw great wisdom and compassion from those times in our lives when we suffer, and while such wisdom and compassion may greatly benefit us and others, let's choose not to glorify suffering or sacrifice where it denies life and, in fact, increases true suffering unecessarily.
Let's really choose life, and the vibrance, sensuousness, awe, beauty, diversity of experience and expression, and true joy that is embodied in it. Rather than 'being suffering' (and thus 'doing' it), we can 'be Life', and allow the possibility that we may very well be able to 'gain' without 'pain'. What if we said, "No Joy, No Gain" instead?
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