As I was sitting late last year in a local park, enjoying the gift of late-November sunshine here in San Francisco, a 30-something fellow on an adjacent bench suddenly started speaking of his growing frustration with the stress of the holiday.
He told me that he really enjoyed Thanksgiving, because it was about getting together with family and friends, enjoying one another's company and conversation, and having fun preparing and sharing a meal.
He then continued on, saying "I've really started to hate Christmas, with its emphasis on corporate marketing, consuming, and 'never enough'." He told me that while he enjoyed Thanksgiving, he almost immediately started to feel stress about the demands and expectations attached to Christmas. He had more to say, but the gist was that one holiday focused on togetherness, giving and sharing; while another focused on buying, consuming, and 'never enough.'
Just days before, Pope Benedict, speaking in Rome, had issued a proclamation decrying the fervent consumerism of the holidays, and how it has for too long overshadowed the deeper meaning of the season - and of life itself.
This is, in our contemporary culture, not a dilemma limited to the end-of-year holidays. Whatever the time of the year, and however you move through your days, there is always a choice between deeper meaning and enjoyment, and stress, pressure, and hyper-consumption-focus.
One gift that we can offer to others is the gift of our full presence -- being fully present with and for another. Deeply listening, looking for and receiving the very best within them, and being open-hearted and kind. Very often we're scattered, stressed and truly not present at all. Even though our body might be in the same room, our hearts and minds are elsewhere. So the gift of full presence can be an amazing gift!
When we're fully present, we connect with the sacred within ourselves and reflect that to another, honoring their sacredness. If someone has prepared a meal, we're present to it, savoring it, honoring the time and effort that it's taken, and the gift to us that it is. If someone shares a story, we listen fully, receiving that part of them, and honoring them by seeing and hearing them.
Giving the gift of full presence, or mindfulness, requires that we become aware of our addiction to busyness and faux-urgency; it requires that we slow down, and follow the advice to 'be where you are' and be there fully. It's a practice, and given the busy 'multi-tasker' norm for many of us -- which often means that we're juggling several things at once, but paying attention to none of them -- it's a challenging practice. And yet the gift of it is beyond measure; it's worth is 'a price above the finest gems." Full presence is a rich gift, indeed, and one that feels amazing for the one who gives it.
Until next time ...
Jamie
[This post is an adaptation of an article that appeared in the December 2005 edition of Ivy SeaZine, a cyber-zine available to engaged spirits, in-the-world mystics, and others who want to be the change they wish to see in the world.)
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